Over the past few years, I’ve come to realize that there are 4 types of people. The four types being:
- In between
[Note: These are my finding on the marital status of people who I’ve dealt with closely. I don’t mean to upset anyone or attack a status with what I state, nor do I mean to generalize.]
MARRIED people discuss mainly marital things with everyone, more so with other married individuals. I.e the best way to overcome and recovery from pregnancy. I find Married people wish the martial life upon the single population and they, at times have a weird way of showing it.
I went to visit an acquaintance who recently gave birth whom I love for the sake of Allah with our mutual friend who is also married. So, we stayed with her for almost two hours, and in those two hours, they mainly spoke about their married lives and the struggles, which I don’t mind as I learn new things from time to time. But occasionally, they would pity me and attempt to include me in the conversation, which made me feel horrible. Often would they feel the need to spit remarks like “You’re next.” or “I give you two years.” And I’m thinking: Why? Why would you give me two years? Who are you to give me two years?
Some married individuals go as far as denouncing a singles person’s life and suggest that they’re incomplete by proclaiming, they don’t know how to live because married life is the only form of life and it teaches you everything you need to learn and implement. They go as far as to say they got it more together because marriage teaches them XYZ. Do they not comprehend maybe we single people also have to prioritize our lives too. We single people have to pay bills too. We, single people, have to cook and clean too. We single people have to look after people too. Just because we are not married and do not have a child to attend to, does in no way mean we are less than you. Need I remind you, you signed up for this. Hence. you have no right to claim that we are less than you and look down on us because of the life you chose.
As a SINGLE individual, I refuse to limit myself being ‘single.’ Single people at times scare me. They do odd stuff that they may not realize, but I do. Experiment!! Observe a single individual alone and then observe them in the company of the opposite gender. More times than often, their persona changes whether it’s the way the carry themselves or their voice becomes a tad bit pitcher and other symptoms will be apparent. May Allah protect us.
Subhanallah, I remember the other day, I went to my sister’s workplace. Now, my sister is married, and her 3 other Muslim co-workers are not. So, last Friday evening, a group of guys came to play basketball at the gym in their workplace. By Allah, the guys were acting weird, one by one, they would pace back and forth in front of the girls drenched in sweat. By Allah, it wasn’t only them, the girls were acting weird too, giggling, shouting and screaming remarks in hopes of being heard. Am I the only person seeing this? I couldn’t have been. May Allah help us all.
I love ENGAGED people, I find them to be pretty cool. I feel like their transition from the single life to the married life allows them not to be completely martial focused and not weirdly looking and acting. I love how they mind their own business and most importantly focus on themselves and their lives.
Lastly, by IN BETWEEN, I essentially mean, non-engaged people who act engaged. People like me who believe in Qadr and if Allah prescribed someone for me than 5alas, undoubtedly, I will find him. Obviously, I have to tie my camel. So, why should I act out of my norms and engage in a Fitna inspired life?
So, inshallah, if you’re married, Mashallah for you, may Allah ease your affairs but don’t make the next single person feel like they know nothing. And if you’re single, don’t take anything to heart, be patient and Allah will reward you for your patience.
If you found this article to be beneficial, let me know. If I stand corrected, feel free to share. Or feel free to share your own overall experience with someone with a different marital status than your own.