Reflection

My Blended Family – The Beginning

Alhamdulillah, many perks come with aging; like contentment and I am very content with my story.

In this series, I hope to share and normalize my very dynamic blended family. The first segment of this series will outline the beginning, then I will move on to either my mothers or fathers side of the family, whichever comes first.

You may be thinking, my family structure is not an ordinary one because it wouldn’t be if I am writing an entire series on it, right? But, Alhamdulillah, we are as ordinary as it gets; Me and all my 17 (I think I counted correctly loooool) siblings either share a mother or a father and I am the only child from my mom and dad.

So, I have an older sister from my moms’ side, her father died, May Allah have mercy on his soul and grant him the highest level of paradise. My older sister is probably the only person from my moms’ side who minds people knowing our story when its kinda obvious as none of us look alike but we are all BLOOD. I kinda get her frustration, I mean during our first Ramadan in Edmonton, a random girl approached her after Taraweeh and openly said “you’re Zainab’s step-sister, right?”, like who says that?? Haha, for that girls information, I am everyone’s HALF SISTER but that’s alhamdulillah not how our mom raised us because our existence is not shameful nor is it haram, so inshallah my sister will grow out of it.

Anyways, next came Zainab. Whooooooo, right? The life of the party? Quite the contrary, I was the troublemaker, the black sheep and now oddly, the advisor. We know that everything that happens is for the best, right? So, my parents got divorced when I was less than a year old. Alhamdulillah. I wholeheartedly believe that this arrangement was for the best because look at me now. I love the me of today, plus, I wouldn’t have this particular arrangement to share.

It may come off as a surprise to those who are close with their fathers, that I am not; well not with my biological dad anyway. I never grew up with him because sometimes when parents get divorced, mothers usually end up raising their children while some fathers, if they are one of the ‘good ones’ (as I was told when I  was younger) financially support their child. I think that’s the easier route for them but Alhamdulillah, it’s definitely better than nothing. During my lifetime, I’ve only met my biological for a total of my one months; 2 weeks when I was 9 and 2 weeks when I was 21 mainly because my mom really wants me to have a relationship with him when it’s the hardest thing in the world. I bet she would be proud to hear that we beat our 2 minutes telephone conversation to a 3-minute, a few days ago. So yay us. :)

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in the comment section below, let me know:

if you have any questions and I will try to incorporate it into this series

if you or anyone you know can relate to my blended family and what are your thoughts. 

9 thoughts on “My Blended Family – The Beginning”

  1. I do have half brothers and sisters if that’s what they call it. But I do not see them that way, they are my brothers and sisters. However, now that I am grown, when I look back I can see there were some difficulties, which I did not understand before. I think coming from a blended family for me teaches you more life lessons.

  2. I have no idea about this because this is not what i’ve experienced like not in my relatives aswell. I guess there are more difficulties in a family like yours just because of the division or a boundary that has been made you know but obviously one can get resolve issues by struggle.

  3. May Allah(swt) put barakah in your blended family and improve your relationship with your dad. Hang in there, sister.

  4. How were you able to cope with your situation with your dad when you were young? I can see you’re courageous and brave person to be able to post an article that speaks a part of your life. This is a reality between families. Jazakallah for this post

  5. This made me really sad reading – I wonder if you yearn for a relationship with your dad? My dad has played a massive role in my life and I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without him. I am glad you do have some sort of father figure in your life nonetheless & I bet you’re really appreciative of having him there!

    http://www.nmdiaries.com

  6. Masha’Allah, I love your positivity. Please remember to protect the barakah in your process and get consent before you share other people’s stories. May Allah reward you for your gratitude and contentment, ameen.

  7. Alhamdulillah you are content in the whatever situtation Allah has put you in. I love the term blended family. Thanks for sharing this!

  8. I’ve never experienced this myself so thank you for sharing your story and letting us know about blended families. People are mostly judgemental about these things because they’re ignorant and it’s easier to accept things when you look at them from another person’s perspective. Your story will definitely help people understand things better.

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