Tonight is the last night I spend with my family before they move on; Move on to a new province to turn a new leaf. This is the life a TCK. Every destination is a temporary home.
As my family drove off into the sunrise, the strangest feeling overcame me. For the second or third time in my life, I felt like I was alone and in a new city and I had to learn how to get by all over again, regardless of how independent I was of my family. Subhanallah, this made me realize how dependent I was of my family and coming home to them every day. Now nothing is the same. For the next few months, till we reunite, I will not know whats going on 100% in everyone’s life, my 7-year-old baby sister aka ‘princess sister’ will not greet and hug me every time I enter the house and fasting Mondays and Thursdays alone will be harder without my fasting partner, my mother. Subhanallah, so many thoughts crossed my mind, but Alhamdulillah, I was quick to embrace the strange feeling and jump back into my life despite the void.
I know it was Qadr for them to leave but Edmonton felt more like home with them than without them. Regardless, out of all the places, I’ve resided and maybe even once viewed as home, it out weighs them all tremendously.
In Uganda, I learned, first hand that life doesn’t go according to your plan, but rather Allah’s plan and Allah is the best of all planners.
In Egypt, living on my own at the tender age of 19, I learned to be responsible and be every thing and every one to/for myself.
In Edmonton, I learned growth can happen in any and every capacity. I don’t think I have ever been more personal development oriented than I am now. I am always actively looking for the next opportunity to grow especially if it makes me feel uncomfortable, because, in my book, fruitful results comes from discomfort.
I guess what I am saying is out of several countries/provinces I have resided in, Edmonton wins. I cannot see myself living here forever, but I can see myself dying here. I now that sounds morbid as morbid can be. Inshallah, let me clarify before you judge me. First off, I understand that Allah is the best of all planner and where ever I die is best. Secondly, the only reason I said what I said is because Edmonton is probably the only place I will be remembered as more than just Zainab, your sister in Islam. Sure, I lived in Egypt and Uganda and parts of Canada for a huge chunk of my life but in all those countries/provinces, but I was simply known as my parent’s daughter and youR sister in Islam. I am not saying that’s not fine, but rather I feel like Edmonton is the first place I began to actually put down my roots and for that reason, it is my home.
Words of a Ramadan Addict 
Can totally relate to being TcK
No matter what….life goes on….but what you take out of life is depends on you….I am happy that you learnt to enjoy and cherish the life as it unfolded in front of you….Good…Keep it up…enjoy life….
It’s hard when the family aren’t around you. Hope the next few months go quickly for you
For me home is where my parents are. Even though I’m a married with my own family . I will always be my mum and dads daughter.
Sometimes you don’t have a choice, have to move on and live fat from the family. I haven’t met mine since almost 3 years now!
Barak Allaah feeki for sharing this with us. It’s a very reflective and sentimental piece that I can relate to. I have moved a few times in my own life, between countries, cities and towns, so I found this relatable on that level.
What is also interesting to me is the different reasons why people call different places home. With matters of identity and belonging, there doesn’t seem to be a single formula at all. I could talk about this forever! Barak Allaah feeki, and may Allaah Subhanahu wa Ta’aala not forsake His accompaniment to you in this challenging time. Aameen.
wa feeki barakallah!!
Thank you for your beautiful comment and duaa.
I’ve been living abroad from my “home” of California now for the last three years. I have a feeling I will end up there again some day – hopefully sooner rather than later as well! Thank you for helping me see I’m not alone in wanting to back to my roots. :)
This is so relatable! I really struggled with making England my home but now I can’t imagine anywhere else being home. This is where I met and married my husband, where I had my first home, where my children were born … it’s incredible how we assign so much meaning and importance to places.
It must be hard for you.
I haven’t gone through this situation but I think sometimes we don’t have a choice.
Love❤
By the will of Allah, it is not hard at all. Sometimes we just need to put one foot in front of the other and leave the rest to Allah.
I’ve never moved before, born and raised in the same home. I can only imagine how hard to work must be. Insha-Allah all goes easily for you (www.spicyfusionkitchen.com)
“fruitful results comes from discomfort.”
I really liked this phrase of yours. Mash Allah you’ve been to many places while I can’t see myself traveling abroad because I am scared of the unknown.