Tonight is the last night I spend with my family before they move on; Move on to a new province to turn a new leaf. This is the life a TCK. Every destination is a temporary home.
As my family drove off into the sunrise, the strangest feeling overcame me. For the second or third time in my life, I felt like I was alone and in a new city and I had to learn how to get by all over again, regardless of how independent I was of my family. Subhanallah, this made me realize how dependent I was of my family and coming home to them every day. Now nothing is the same. For the next few months, till we reunite, I will not know whats going on 100% in everyone’s life, my 7-year-old baby sister aka ‘princess sister’ will not greet and hug me every time I enter the house and fasting Mondays and Thursdays alone will be harder without my fasting partner, my mother. Subhanallah, so many thoughts crossed my mind, but Alhamdulillah, I was quick to embrace the strange feeling and jump back into my life despite the void.
I know it was Qadr for them to leave but Edmonton felt more like home with them than without them. Regardless, out of all the places, I’ve resided and maybe even once viewed as home, it out weighs them all tremendously.
In Uganda, I learned, first hand that life doesn’t go according to your plan, but rather Allah’s plan and Allah is the best of all planners.
In Egypt, living on my own at the tender age of 19, I learned to be responsible and be every thing and every one to/for myself.
In Edmonton, I learned growth can happen in any and every capacity. I don’t think I have ever been more personal development oriented than I am now. I am always actively looking for the next opportunity to grow especially if it makes me feel uncomfortable, because, in my book, fruitful results comes from discomfort.
I guess what I am saying is out of several countries/provinces I have resided in, Edmonton wins. I cannot see myself living here forever, but I can see myself dying here. I now that sounds morbid as morbid can be. Inshallah, let me clarify before you judge me. First off, I understand that Allah is the best of all planner and where ever I die is best. Secondly, the only reason I said what I said is because Edmonton is probably the only place I will be remembered as more than just Zainab, your sister in Islam. Sure, I lived in Egypt and Uganda and parts of Canada for a huge chunk of my life but in all those countries/provinces, but I was simply known as my parent’s daughter and youR sister in Islam. I am not saying that’s not fine, but rather I feel like Edmonton is the first place I began to actually put down my roots and for that reason, it is my home.