Rejection Lessons

By the will of Allah, I am a very reflective person. I see the errors of my ways as time passes. I like to think someone or people upon witnessing my apparent flaw made duaa for me. Well, now that I think about it, perhaps Allah answered my and our duaa for me. And Allah knows, and I do not.

I will share the below experience not to expose myself but so that you, whoever you may be, are able to learn from my mistake.

Growing up, cultural pride annoyed me. I ignorantly denounced entire cultures. I  even denounced my own culture. I couldn’t contemplate why individuals show more unity to their respective cultures as opposed to their religion. I mean who need tribalism when there are Muslims at every turn. Long story short, I uttered things I shouldn’t have. Moreover, often enough to be solely remembered by them. Unfortunately, I can’t take back the words I said. I can’t take back the words embedded in people’s minds’. But I can ask Allah for forgiveness.

So, the story goes, a couple of months ago, a friend approached me and suggested for me to get to know a brother, let’s call him broX, who is of my own culture and I instantly declined without a grain of consideration. A few weeks ago, a sister suggested a brother who is not of my culture and I did not instantly decline, but rather I considered it vigorously. Subhanallah!! My heart aches. And my double standards shocked my world in a way it hasn’t before. Who did I think I was? What right did I have to degrade a perfectly religious individual, who I personally vaguely know and respect? This has been burrowing into the depth of my subconscious for days and nights. All I want to do is apologize. I do not know if I regret my decision, but I definitely regret how I came to that decision.

Now, every single time, anyone quotes what I’ve said in the past in this manner, my heart aches. Every single time, I see or hear broX on campus, my heart is instantly flooded with regret. Inshallah, in the future I will be able to reject rejection.

Alhamdulillah, there is good in every test. This entire situation reminds me of my true worth. I am your equal. I am not above or below anyone as no one is above or below me. We are all mere servants of Allah. As a result, I ask Allah to: forgive us for our numerous faults, conceal our faults and to beautify/purify mine and your hearts and speech.

By the will of Allah, from this point forward, I will correct my ways. May Allah guide me to the straight path.




A Sister

22 thoughts on “Rejection Lessons”

  1. A very good reflection, only Allah can forget. Change your negative words into positive feedback and advice :)

  2. I must say that rejection should not be based on reasons other than religious ones. Empathy is also a key word here. If we can empathize with others and put ourselves in their shoes, we will know instantly how rejection feels. Instead of rejecting, we should seek guidance from Allah through Istakhara.

  3. I love how you re trying to change, and realize what you’ve been doing. I see myself from how I used to be 10-15 years ago as well, and am glad to say I’m not that person anymore, alhamdulillah.

  4. There’s always hidden blessings – even in the things that we don’t like or our mistakes. And sometimes that blessing isn’t discovered until years later. For myself, I remember after 10 YEARS later seeing the blessing of what I considered to be a negative habit. It all happens for a reason – and one day you’ll look back, smile and laugh at the girl you used to be. Stay hopeful :) (easier said than done – I know! :D)

  5. Alhamdulillah you realised your mistake. We learn from our mistakes and in sha Allah they make us better people.

  6. I love learning from my mistakes too. We err as humans but must turn constantly back to Allah (swt) seeking His Mercy.

    Its important to turn to Him for our errors – both hidden and known ones and try to forgive others too.

  7. It’s amazing that there was a time our parents told us they know what is best for us, and more amazingly God knows even better. May all work out for you inshallah!

  8. Alhumdulilah, you realized your mistake and asking Allah for forgiveness, even that’;s such a blessing, what if u kept on doing wrong without realizing that your actions are wrong, and nobody is perfect in the world except Allah SWT, may Allah make it easy for you Amin.

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