Edmonton, Word I Never Said

I am Zainab

19/03/15 made History in my books. For the second time in my life, I heard my voice voiced. I was reminded of myself; Who I really am and what it took to become who I am today. So, without further ado, I introduce to you, myself, Zai-nab. And it was an honor to meet you.

[Readers please note:  I am a rather complex individual who ‘s not really an average definition of average. I’m not proposing, I am an alien or inhuman, although there was a time when I didn’t oppose either title. It’s just that, I am as normal as normal can be, but I am not your limited definition of normal. So, to sum up: YES, I’M DIFFERENT.]

Throughout life, we may meet few namesakes here and there and despite there being 365 days in a year, in this time of day, who really has time to shuffle through and recollect the birth dates of people who enter our lives only to exit. Regardless, I would like to point out that the rarest circumstance is coming across someone who projects your realistic mindset which -by the way- isn’t exactly appreciated by the general public because, of course, it is they who are ‘mere’ and we, well, we are not. So, either this individual is incredible or a psychopath. &Every bone in my body is inclined towards the first option, more so, without a grain of doubt.

3 years ago, I met a version of myself; the old version of me. I was in Egypt in 2012/13 doing some self-searching, discovering myself kind of thing. And all of a sudden, because I was a practicing Muslimah(Muslim Women), instantly, I was assigned to help a lost girl who was older than myself find her way in the hope of inspiring her and projecting some hope. Me and her being our stubborn selves decided to follow our own agendas. But eventually this small world brought us together and the more she spoke, the more I listened, I heard the familiar brokenness and depression that consumed me once before. The more she cried, I saw the tears that I never dared to shed. Her pain was once my pain. Her struggle ran through my veins. And our struggle had she known, made me, me.

3 years later, I met you. And I heard the current ‘latest edition’ of myself. You, in fact, reminded me just how much of me I have suppressed lately. Regardless, I like where we are right now. &Frankly, I can’t help but wonder what I will be in three more years? Who will I evolve into then? I really pride myself on #ForeverChanging

Words I Never Said

  • D.B this is for you. :)
  • I don’t know about you but I will probably never forget you.
  • I don’t know you, but I will miss you!
  • I wish I had extended my acquaintanceship.
  • [Insert invitation] I wish I had more people like me in my life. So they could be like ‘me’ with me.
  • ‘How does someone like me forgive someone like me?’ is code for: ‘How do I forgive myself?’
  • I’m sure you already know this, but for reinforcement purposes, I will state: Never stop being you and I know our line of ‘personality’ is not an easy one. So, if you ever need someone to be ‘you’ with you. I will be around, hopefully.
  • Occupation of a realist —> The Truth Teller.
  • The worst period of life is by far the best because I am who I am today because of it.
  • I too am an open book, that is, of course, if you ask all the right questions.
  • Cheers to having a big personality. #Hi5 
  • Cheers to being significantly insignificant.
  • Note: We rock. Therefore, the world needs more people like you and I.
  • This may be too much, and you may very well reject it, but I think humbleness&/sincerity are great color/s on you.
  • I trust you to understand that I can’t say this for many but for the short..short while that I knew you, I’ve come to conclude YOU ARE WORTHY. 

Wow, if this ever reaches you D.B then I can finally put these thoughts to rest.

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