A Voiceless Voice

With all that is that is going on right now, I can’t help but worry. Worry about what? Most of the friends I’ve made have either left the country or I never kept contact with.  Thanks to Facebook, I at least know some beings are still alive and kicking. :)

Now back to me over-worrying; I’d like to state it’s one of the things I do best. So when 27/7 happened to Egypt, after watching hours of a flowing river of blood, it occurred to me that I still had my Egyptian Simcard, so immediately a few individuals sprung to mind. I needed to know how they were. To my surprise roaming rates were expensive than I suspected; 18egp/min. If only outgoing roaming rates where as cheap as incoming rates, 2egp/min. So, clearly i didn’t have enough credit. i prayed for the best and left it at that.

As number of deaths escalated to towards the near thousands, I began to worry some more. All the random people I met, all the random people I came across came to mind. Like I could have known these people, I might have exchanged with these people, our eyes might have met even for a split second. All the random people who fit perfectly into my life, in that moment hit me like a train. Let it be that random lady I help find a mosque or that nice helpful lady at the mosque or that random guy who was hypothetically willing to get it hit by a bus for me or those random people I sat next to in buses, or the random strangers who would always offer to help. I wondered: were they safe? I wondered: if they were dead or alive. It really did hurt not knowing.

All I know is, I lost the dead too. They were family; they were my brothers and sisters. I grieved for them; just like I prayed for them.

It seems like I was too busy overthinking, that I skipped the obvious, that calling whoever so from my current network provider didn’t occur to me. Alhamdulillah the other day, a friend suggested it. So from all the random people I met, I exchanged numbers with one; with Asma.

She was a little older than myself. Shortly after exiting the center I attended, she thankfully approached me, for I was the only female on the street, in hope of finding a particular mosque. Subhanallah surely Allah guided her to me, I was actually heading in that exact direction and the mosque was approximately a 20minute walk away from where we stood, so we talked and we got to know one another around my limited Arabic at the time, in a matter of minutes we knew each other’s basics. It turns out, her sister was going to get married, in that mosque, and guess who was automatically invited? Me. By the time, we arrived it was already Asr. I went to go make wudu as she entered the mosque. It should be noted that she wore a niqab, so I knew not her appearance. So I finished making wudu, entered the mosque, prayed my Tahiyatul Masjid, upon doing so, I sat in remembrance waiting Asr to begin, meanwhile I was thinking: anyone can be her. I was indeed curious. we prayed, after Asr prayer ended, she approached me once more. I don’t know why but for a stranger, she REALLY made me happy, I guess Allah put love in my heart for her. She was mashallah!! May Allah continue to bless her. She thanked me endlessly, made duaa for me, and told me repeatedly how she loved me for the sake of Allah. this is someone I met less than 40minutes ago, a Mashallah Muslimah who was now digging into her bag in search of a gift for me. She gave me a cd knowing my story, my background, she thought It would be useful now if not eventually. A knowledge based CD!! On seeking it and many more factors concerning it. I can’t believe I gave it out. It will forever be one of the things I will always beat myself up for until I get my hands on a new copy. Anyways, finally we departed, with a promise that we would reunite once more; preferably at her sister’s wedding, which I didn’t attend. :/ May Allah forgive me.

I called her the other day, after overthinking her possible fate for the past few days, in my head, she could have been dead or alive, she could have been grieving a relative or not, she could have been one of those people who got married in Rabaa Square or not. I truly grasped anything was possible. So I called and the phone rang and rang as the remembrance for anxiety and sorrow played. Eventually, she picked up and she spoke. My mind rang ‘she is alive’ numerously! She was so glad to hear from me, as was I, I greeted her and asked ” كيف حالك؟ كيف أختك وزوجها؟ هل أنت متزوج الان؟ وكيف حال اسرتك؟ إن شاء الله آمنة و بخير.” and she answered all my questions and reassured me everything was well. She also had plenty questions of her own. then she reminded me of the classic ‘I love you for the sake of Allah’ it really did have a nice feel to it. We ended that call with her repeatedly thanking me for calling. :)

I concluded: once in a lifetime people like her exist, and whats more is they’re not a rare species. May Allah grant them and their families and their people and our Ummah Jannah!!